The Queens of Innis Lear by Tessa Gratton

italics - quotes by themself

bold - text i'm making annotations on

Part One, Regen I (3/27/2025)

(3) "My thighs are sticky with the brains of our babe, Connley, and I want to rip out my insides and bury it all here. I am nothing but bones and desperation."

what a brutally haunting line. we don't have a firm timeline yet for how long she's been trying for a baby but you can just feel the exhaustion in her. however many times she's lost a baby it's been too many

(2) "That is your father talking, Regan."

She reeled back and slapped him for daring to notice. The edge of his high cheek turned pink as he studied her with narrowed, blue-green eyes. Regan knew the look in them: the desire, the scrutiny. She touched his lips and met his gaze. He was a year younger than her, ambitious and lacking kindness, and Regan loved him wildly. Every sign she could read in those damnable stars, every voice in the wind and along the great web of island roots had cried yes when she asked if Connley was for her.

kinda digging this morally grey/not goody two shoes couple we've been introduced to here. or maybe i just love a couple who matches each other's freak

(2) "Would I could arrive heavy with child," Regan murmured, touching her belly. Connley put his hand over the top of hers and moved it lower to the bloody stain. He cupped her hand gently around herself.

"We will go heavy with other things," he said. "Power, wit, righteousness."

"Love," she whispered.

"Love," he repeated, and kissed her mouth.

LOWKEY I KINDA LOVE THEM. LOWKEY THEY MIGHT BE MY FAVORITE. PLOTTING AND SCHEMING AND IN LOVE

Part One, Gaela I (3/27/2025)

(1)(4) The moment Gaela was king, they should be prepared to submit to her, or face these very men and these very war machines.

referring to herself as king: maybe some internalized misogyny?? everyone so far has referred to her future reign as 'queen' so it's not inherent in society to see a queen as lesser, but she attaches more power to the title of King? maybe because the first ruler of Innis Lear was a King??

(1)(4) She was tall but not broad, though she'd spent her life encouraging muscles where few women wanted them. Her posture could have her mistaken for a man from behind, a resemblance Gaela appreciated.

definitely sensing some internalized misogyny now, or maybe just gender envy? but rooted in I.M?

(2) It amused her that he strove to hide the visibility of his sexual interest as best he was able, lest it cause her to turn cold. Gaela could always see it. She knew the signs, and she pushed at them when she was feeling mean. Their marriage bed was a contentious one.

wondering if this is actual ace rep or if it's just commentary on how war/power hungry she is

Part One, Elia III (3/27/2025)

(4) Against the martial Gaela Astore, who covered herself most days in armor and the raiment of men, it was perhaps a surprise to gaze upon such a sleek, feminine princess.

It feels like the only misogyny is coming from the actual princesses themselves?? There have been mentions of female warriors before now and it seems commonplace in this society. Is there internalized misogyny because of their father for some reason?

(1) Gaela had been sixteen when she swore to her sister, fast and secretly, that no child would lock into her womb, she would make sure of it. We will be king and queen of Lear, iron-strong Gaela had promised her willow-thin fourteen-year-old sister. No matter husbands or rivals, it will be you and me, our bodies and our blood. Regan had kissed her cheek and promised.

So maybe she isn't ace but this specific plan to not have kids and have her sister's kids as her heirs is just a way to keep their bond strong and to keep the two of them in power.

(2) "Connley, Connley, Connley," Regan said, differently each time. First casual, then wicked, then deep in her mouth, as if she could taste him buried there.

(1) "Surely you do not speak of love," Gaela scoffed. "Love is no strength."

"Not even between us?"

Gaela scoffed. "This is not love between us, we are one. We are beyond love!"

(1) Regan could not remember if Gaela had been born so, or learned it from their father, his stars, and Dalat's death. All Regan knew was that her sister had the stars of conquerors in her sky, and such men did not love well. Gaela thought she was beyond love's reach, while Regan believed herself to be composed of nothing but love. Terrible, devastating, insatiable love.

Part One, The Fox IV (3/28/2025)

(1) "No, no," responded the Fool. He was a long, lanky man, in a long, lanky coat of rainbow colors and textures. Silk, linen, velvet, strips of leather even, and lace, rough wool and soft fur, patterned in places, woven in plaid in others: a coat such as his marked him a man outside of station or hierarchy. The Fool was all men and no man at all. He wore the remains of a dress beneath the coat, and so maybe he was all women, too. And none.

Part One, Elia VI (3/28/2025)

(2) A laugh tugged out of Elia, though it was tremulous and dry and annoyed. Her sisters were terrible, but so desperately themselves.

Part One, The Fox V (3/28/2025)

(3) The fool king had weakened the ancient voice of the island when he forbade the rootwaters from flowing. Both earth and stars were needed for magic: roots and blood for power, the stars to align them. Without both, everything was wild, or everything was dead. Here, it was dying.

(1) But Elia turned away from him. Said, looking to the stars once more, "Everyone would blame you, say terrible things about you."

"And so the sun rises every morning." The bitterness staining his words stung even his own mouth.

(3) Elia of the Stars and Ban of the Earth, bridging that terrible chasm.

Part Two (3/28/2025)

(1) The sky was a maze, and he must find, for his people, the way through. Consequences were only myriad pinpricks of light, distant and maneuverable.

(1) A king is a symbol, he would say. The crown is your burden because it makes you the representative of all the causes and consequences of a lifetime, and longer. Good and bad. A man cannot be friends with why, Morimaros.

(1)(3) I love many people, and am loved, both as a man and as a king. But there is no person in the entirety of Aremoria whom I truly call friend. There cannot be friendship without the balance of power. And in that we are not equal to any in this land, because our word is the law, and our word can send any man or woman or child to their death.

Young Mars had flinched, realizing the king's word applied to him, too.

(1) Mars could not pretend to be a friend of soldiers, wounded or not. He was the crown. He was why they were here. If he refused such a responsibility, or avoided it, there was no worth to his own life, no worth to those lives snuffed out in the name of Aremoria. So the king would bear it.

Part Two, Elia I (3/28/2025)

(4) Gaela had worn trousers and a soldier's gambeson more often than not, and excitedly would explain to Dalat and the ladies what the earl Errigal or earl Glennadoer-or even the ladies' own retainers-had taught her recently, of defense and the sword and the way of men. Possibly Gaela had not yet realized how vital her occasional dropped detail was to the women's network.

So it seems mostly that people keep to assigned gender roles (in court and in war from what's been mentioned) but it's not a hard rule of society and it's not looked upon with disdain if a woman wants to be a warrior.

Part Two, Gaela I (3/28/2025)

(2) Stepping out of the bathtub, she was rubbed down with cloth, and then another girl spread cinnamon oil along Gaela's spine and arms and belly; it stung every tiny open scratch, and Gaela relished it. That was why she preferred cinnamon. And that it cost her husband.

These were the small prices he paid for ever having loved her, for thinking she was his.

(4) In the corners of her eyes she noticed as those who had never seen her-or had not seen her since she'd grown tall-now marked how like a man she seemed. How like a soldier she sat, breasts bound as flat as she could make them, allowing the chainmail and gambeson to curve as over a man's strong chest. The bulk of the sword belt at Gaela's waist made the dip of her hips more discreet, and her thighs were as strong as many men's. Her life studying war in Astora had changed her.

(1) The first time she'd bled, years ago, it had begun with days of lethargy and fever, until finally, with the first hot drops on her thighs, she ran to her mother in a panic. Dalat had hugged her and smiled, chiding Gaela for not listening the many times she'd been warned this would come. But Gaela never thought those warnings applied to her; they were for girls like Regan who would one day become women. Gaela had been absolutely certain she would never cross that threshold.

Her body had betrayed her. And continued to do so, no matter how she fought, prayed, cursed, ran it ragged, or pretended.

(1) "He will want to touch me," Gaela managed to say, quiet and low. A shudder coursed through her at the thought of it, of his hands on her waist, her breasts, and-memory triggered another sharp pain in her womb. Gaela could not hold back the gasp, and she pressed her hands to her belly, furious at her body's betrayal.

Okay so I think she IS ace or at least sex averse but she doesn't see it from a lense of sexuality, she just sees it as an immutable fact of who she is.

(1)(3)(4) The princess shook her head. Her brow pinched with misery. "No, I do not mean I want your potions or skins or abortifacients. I want this inside me destroyed. Burned out or removed, or erased with your magic, Brona. I want you to make me a man."

Part Two, The Fox I (3/29/2025)

(1)"Earn a place here. You have one." Rory said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You'll always belong here, with me," Rory continued. "My brother, captain of my soldiers, uncle to my sons, a husband to some fat, gorgeous wife, whatever you want. And if anyone says a slant word about it, I'll make them regret it."

Part Two, Elia II (3/29/2025)

(1)(2)This is no confession of hidden affection or respect. I love you as I always have: reluctantly, and knowing we might someday be rivals for this crown.

(1)(2)He waits for providence to save him, as he ever has, but he speaks more of Dalat. Both speaks of her, and speaks to her, apologies and regrets, though I cannot discover the core of them. Tell your lady-hello, darling child-he loves her still, and it is a wound in himself he sought to heal when he made all his daughters choose, not a wound in her. He believed in two things: stars and Elia, and to his foolish mind both seemed to turn against him in unison, while the two more like to join in opposition to his will stood hand in hand with smiles in their hearts.

(3)Elia closed her eyes and thought of her father's blotchy anger, the cold detachment on Regan's face, Gaela's proudly curled lips, and the incandescent passion sharpening Ban Errigal's mud-green eyes as he pushed with all his strength against the ancient standing stones. She was well versed in ignoring dull pains.

Part Two, Aefa I (3/29/2025)

(1)She'd let the adorable legitimate Errigal son seduce her, and in return she pinned him to his pillows to interrogate him on how he made everybody like him so rotting much. He was good looking, and so was Aefa; he was charismatic, and so could she be. Therefore, what could he teach her?

(1)Elia put her other hand over Aefa's. She pulled a simple ring of silver and amber off her thumb and slid it onto Aefa's first finger. "Faith," she said, not looking up to meet her friend's eyes. "Trust? I thought my father was the truest star in the sky—strange and capricious, but true. Years ago I chose him, Aefa. I chose to be his, against my sisters, because he was so very broken by my mother's death. I made myself into his perfect star, believing him to be true. But he isn't! If not that, then what? What can I believe in if I can't believe the stars will rise? How can I trust myself or you or Morimaros or my sisters or Ban Errigal or anyone?" Her voice was tight, high, and fast.

Part Two, Morimaros I (3/29/2025)

(2)He had wished to pull Elia against his chest and hold her, comfort her, promise anything she asked. He had wished to take the letters and burn them if she was afraid to read.

so he DOES actually feel something for her, or is starting to. the question is when it comes down to it, what does he want more? her heart or her country?

(2)Mars would not push too soon. But he wanted to marry her. Regardless of how it would necessarily shift his tactics in taking Innis Lear. In fact, Mars found he could not stop circling his thoughts back and back and back around to it: as if nothing else mattered to him as much as Elia Lear.

He could not recall a single time in his adult life when he'd been so tilted by his heart.

Perhaps the strangeness on Innis Lear had infected him. Perhaps she was a fracture in his careful crown.

Part Two, Gaela II (3/29/2025)

(1)Gaela would not want her men to ignore reason should she give a mad order. She wanted Osli to speak to her, to be honest with her opinions, to be strong. Gaela would surround herself with retainers and counselors as strong as she was. That foundation would make her rule greater! What were sycophants and cowards but a sign of rot and sickness?

(1)He kissed her again, lowering his hands to her waist, then curled them around to hold her firmly. His mouth was urgent; he pressed their hips together. She did not resist, but gave nothing either. How her life might've been easier if she wanted this. Wanted him. Or anyone.

(1)(4)She wrapped her hands around his forearm. "It is because I will wear the crown, and I will get it like a king. Not as a mother and wife, but as the firstborn child, as the strongest. It is no fault of mine to be forced to perform this illusion of being your wife, to pretend to be what a woman of this island is supposed to be, in order to gain power among you and your peers."

Part Two, Elia III (3/29/2025)

(2)Before she could turn, the king of Aremoria came behind her and put his hand delicately against her back. The touch held her open, somehow; sharpened her yearning.

so it seems like she's starting to return affection to him too, but she faces an even more difficult choice: Morimaros, Ban, or her country?

(1)(3)She did not answer, breathing deep for calm and concentrating on the warmth of his hand. His thumb skimmed her skin, at her spine just over the collar of her dress. She had no wish, still, to marry, but how easy it would be to take what he offered, to turn herself over to this strong king, to let herself be subsumed under his power. The way she'd been subsumed under her father. Was this why Regan chose Connley, because he was so vibrant he could fill all the cracks in her spirit?

(1)This king was charming, but she felt a sadness reminiscent of envy. She wished she could relax into sharing a meal with him, to think merely of enjoying his company as if she too belonged here, another sparrow come home to roost and be comforted. But Elia could not forsake Innis Lear.

(2)He was all she could see of the world, and his desire to kiss her was painted clear on his face. She hoped desperately he would not. She couldn't imagine what she would feel if he did, or how his kiss would change her. She only knew that it would. She wasn't ready.